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Problems With Parents At Your Studio?

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What do you get when you add the parents at your dance studio plus the myriad of problems that can arise?

Some people would say headaches!

However, we owe much of our accomplishments and innovation at our dance studio to parent complaints and concerns.

In mathematical terms, parents are constants not variables. They aren’t going anywhere. They are a staple in the dance studio business. They want the best for their children. I’m a mom, I can relate on so many levels. But what a parent wants for their child is not always what works for dance studio owners and teachers. From disagreements on class placement, teaching style, audition results, solo choices, costume picks, music selection, and payment plans to planning rehearsal schedules, the moms and dads will often have an opinion about how it should go.

What I see happening more often than not is that dance studio owners and teachers want to make problems go away. Trust me, I don’t wake up in the morning hoping to get an email or phone call from an irate parent, but it’s in the way you view and handle problems that true growth and success can occur.

Here are three things that you can do that are likely to transform the way you think about problems with parents and make a positive difference at your dance studio:

#1. Regard Every Problem as an Opportunity to Grow

I’m not saying every parent is right!  But what I am saying is that when a parent brings up a problem or complaint, it is an opportunity for you to really take a step back and look at the situation and see if their suggestions may actually help you improve.

Dance studio ownership is a very personal business, it’s hard not to get defensive or take complaints and concerns to heart. Trust me, I have shed my fair share of tears over events that have left me asking ‘why bother?’  Here’s where you have to dig down into your commitment to success.

If you are running a business, you will ALWAYS be problem-solving. Trying to make problems go away is an exhausting battle never to be won.  Instead, when faced with a problem consider it a wonderful opportunity to improve, add something, try new methods, or entertain a different approach. Be open and grow.


#2. Have a System for Communicating Concerns

When a parent doesn’t have a clear path to direct a concern, they will go and find just about anyone that will listen to them. From the first moment a student registers at our dance studio we let them know that we are more than open to receiving their feedback and we show them where we keep a parent-student concern form that they can fill out and return at anytime. Upon receiving these forms we set up a meeting to discuss the concern.

The ‘no gossip’ rule nips problems right in the bud. Train your faculty and staff to be aware when walking through waiting rooms or around the studio. When they hear gossip or when a concern is mentioned, have them invite the parent to set up a meeting with you or your director to personally address a problem. Encourage everyone to take their concerns to the people that can do something about it at the studio.

Complaints and expressed concerns might also be considered contributions. When you are open to receiving, rather than avoiding, shutting down, or making it wrong to voice a concern, you create the opportunity to be the talk of the town for all the right reasons.

Your students and parents will gladly refer you to others if they know that any complaint or concern large or small will be heard. Again, this does not mean you are changing policies for parents just because they have a concern. People want to be heard, receive their communication, then decide how to proceed.

#3. Give Big Problems and Issues the 24-hour rule

One day you can be dealing with a huge issue and feel like the world is crashing in and everything seems to be going wrong… and then you sleep on it.  Have you noticed that more often than not, the next day everything seems in perspective and less daunting?

We made a rule at our dance studio with our faculty and staff that whenever we are about to consider an exception to a rule, a policy change, or send communication to a parent as a result of a meeting or concern that we give it the 24-hour rule. This helps immensely when it comes to taking the emotion out of a situation. In fact, Nichelle mad a similar recommendation in her article for parents on How To Talk To Your Studio Director And Be Heard. It’s easy to get a voice-mail or e-mail and want to reply back with a quick judgment. Instead, at our studio we set up a meeting, hear all sides of the issue with the parent and student, and then after 24 hours make a decision.

However you structure it, adding that time makes a big difference in your ability to see the big picture and make choices and decisions that are best for everyone involved

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” ~ Bill Cosby

The truth is, you can’t make everyone happy.  Nor can you retain 100% of your students from year to year.  That’s just not how it works. What you can do is learn and practice being great with people.

When you learn how to handle the angry, irate, mad, frustrated, and completely irrational parent in a way that sets your dance studio up for success you will be positioned for growth. For those parents that you just cannot make happy or arrive at a solution for – graciously suggest a dance studio that might be able to accommodate their needs.  Sometimes your studio’s vision and values are just not the right fit for their dancer!

Surround yourself with a supportive team of faculty, staff, family, friends, and colleagues that believe in your dance studio vision and mission. Give big problems and issues the 24-hour rule before making a decisions. Have a system for communicating concerns at your dance studio and most importantly see each problem as an opportunity to grow!

How have your studio parents helped you grow this year?

What are some ways you’ve kept things positive when it comes to parent concerns?

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. This is a very timely post for me! I have just started the 2nd Term (Australia) and as usual I have a load of drop outs….many off to soccer! I feel like Sysiphis pushing the rock up hill each day only to have it roll down again. Often I hear about someone leaving when other students tell me they have “quit”…..instantly make me feel like quitting too when I hear that word! I encourage parents to communicate with me but shyness, not wanting to disappoint me perhaps, though I do understand the need to try different things too, and dare I say it insensitivity often seems to be the prevent parents speaking up. I will try parent-student concern form…hopefully parents will feel more comfortable about telling me if they have some thing on their mind.

    Thanks!

    • Hi Roz,

      If it gives you any comfort to know, we have the same ‘soccer attrition’ here in the states. For us it usually hits in Sept/October.

      Definitely look at a parent-student concern form. I’d also recommend the exit survey as well.

      When I look over our records for the school year, the two most common reasons students leave our studio are 1. loss of interest 2. scheduling conflicts (aka sports, other activities, etc).

      There is a natural amount of attrition to be expected at every dance studio each year. When you can zero in on some trends you can find ways to improve and grow.

      Keep up the great work!!

  2. My school is still very much in its infancy, so every day is an opportunity for me to learn more about what it means to be school director (and the ONLY teacher on staff!). Last year I learned a couple of very hard lessons at the end of the academic year: first, face-to-face communication with parents is of primary importance, and second, letting problems “slide” rather than addressing them promptly will ultimately cause misery for everyone. I had one young student whose classroom behavior was continually disruptive over the course of the year; the child was not mean-spirited–she was just highly distractible, often appeared bored, and consequently behaved badly in class. The first big mistake I made in her case was letting the problem escalate rather than nipping it in the bud. Sometimes behavior issues self-resolve, and I was hoping this one would; also, I usually try to handle classroom behavior myself rather than going immediately to a parent to complain about it. Over time it only worsened, however, and I finally addressed it with the parent in an email. I chose email not to avoid the parent, but because I use email liberally to communicate–it’s easy and convenient, and often I think it is less intrusive for the parent. Unfortunately, though, words can take on unintended emphasis or emotion when they appear in print, or on a screen. In the end, this parent was offended and withdrew her child from the school. In hindsight, I am not sure actual face-to-face communication would have resulted in a different outcome, but I think we would have understood each other much better, as a number of other concerns were finally revealed to me (the child’s mother, for example, believed the class content was too difficult for her child, but never said anything)–concerns I could have addressed with her more effectively early in the year, and in person through a conference. This year I have handled sensitive issues in my office with parents directly, with MUCH greater success. Live and learn.–Deb Young

    • Hi Deb,

      Thanks for sharing this story…it makes a difference for everyone and is clearly an issue that so many dance teachers and studio owners face.

      Yes, I would agree that the best way to handle a parent concern is to invite a meeting first. Some parents get super defensive of this, but when you position a meeting as an opportunity to just listen and hear any concerns usually they let down their guard and share what’s going on.

      One of the ways we’ve set our parents at ease and opened up the lines of communication are by having regular ‘visitor weeks’ about once every other month – otherwise we have limited ‘viewing’ of our classes as it is highly distracting for the dancers.

      We also twice a year invite parents to fill out a feedback questionnaire about the quality of instruction all the way through to the studio facility and more. This allows us to nip issues in the bud as well.

      Soliciting this feedback has helped in terms of catching any major concerns early. It’s not easy at all to hear negativity or what can feel like criticism but when taken constructively truly does help us grow as business owners.

      Thanks again for sharing this, keep up the great work with your students and parents!!

  3. This is an awesome article. I think that a huge part to remember is that you will not retain 100% of your students year to year, just as any business won’t retain 100% of their clients year to year. If you can remember that, I think that it can help take out some of the grimness of harsh complaints that feel super personal. As a business owner, you have to keep your cool and deal with each person on a personal level, but like the article stated, dance studio owners have to focus even more on taking the emotion out of decision making. Once you realize the reality of the business situation, I feel it would be much easier to use that 24 hour rule, asses the issue and move on a better studio and a better studio owner!

    • Hi Meggie,

      Thanks so much for your comments. Yes, it’s so key to remind yourself that there is a natural amount of turnover expected at every dance studio each year. It’s tuning into where you can let some things go and grow from others.

      On a personal note, I live right down the road from the University of New Hampshire! My husband is a UNH Grad, I went to Colby-Sawyer. Our dance studio is further inland, in Amherst, NH. Very cool to see your ties to the granite state.

      I can see you are doing a great job at your studio really integrating a comprehensive approach to dance for all ages and abilities. Well done! I’m sure you are making a big difference with the dancers in your community.

      Keep up the great work!

      Best,
      Suzanne

  4. I have been teaching for 27 years and still loving it.
    I love working with eager/willing children .
    I encouraged parents to take the interest in the dancers progress and not to focus on small negative things – As the dance educator I clearly want the best for all my stars and believe me all children are stars.
    The just need us as adults to help them to be as polished in order for them to shine – Dance saved my life during the Apartheid in South Africa and I believe I can only continue to make a difference in all children and parents attitude- Dance can save many peoples lifes. When I have negative parents I try very hard to hear them out which takes up so much of my valuable energy which I should be giving all the dancers in the class- Don’t they get it if you make the teacher unhappy how can the teacher give happiness to their children through Dance

  5. I am facing something similar to what you ladies are facing. I live in a small town and these dance moms are taking lessons from me and an another teacher as well. The problem in the other teacher and I have completely different styles and sets rehearsal times during my dance class. My parents have lied to me about it and gone to rehearse there because she does more performance oriented dance while I teach classical. I am frustrated and fed up!

  6. How do you get the studio owners to act professionally toward you as a paying customer. Our studio loves to rely on the rumor mill, never returns calls and avoids all parents with questions. I feel trapped because my children love dancing and the studio is close to our home, but I am resentful of the lack of communication. I don’t want to organize parents and gang up on them, I just want an opportunity to be heard as client that pays $10,000 a year to dance there!