Disclaimer: I have not yet watched a full episode of Dance Moms.
However, the outcry from dance teachers and studio owners cannot be avoided if you hang out with dance people on Twitter, Facebook, or LinkedIn. In fact, it’s a recent LinkedIn discussion that prompted me to officially deposit my 2 cents and bring the conversation to Dance Advantage.
Here’s a preview of the show, if you aren’t yet familiar:
And Dance Moms is available on Hulu for those who don’t have access to Lifetime and want to see what all the fuss is about.
The main discussion threads that trail from the hem of this show include:
- Positive vs. negative teaching/coaching styles (and what gets results)
- Reality television – what and how much it’s scripted
- What are parents thinking when they subject their children to such negativity?
- Is it or is it not representative of the competitive dance world?
- How is or will the show affect dance studio and competition businesses?
Did I miss any?
Perhaps, and perhaps more will arise as the show continues to air.
Each one could be its own post. You probably have a good idea of which I’d most like to address but I’ll touch on some others too.
How real is reality?
I tend to avoid reality shows like this one because I don’t like the mounting tension and stress I feel as I watch them. But that’s exactly the rise producers are after. This type of reality television thrives on extremes, drawing out or even setting up dramatic and confrontational situations to bring out the worst in people (sometimes including the people who watch).
Manipulating reality. Manipulating me, the viewer. Absolutely! But manipulating a situation is different from scripting it. Yes, producers may choose to show only the bad side of a person, a situation, or a group but the people on-screen make a choice to act, react, speak, or show that bad side. And in this case, yikes! What a bad side! The grains of truth and reality in Dance Moms, even though only part of the picture, don’t paint a very pretty one.
Negatively Charged
I could spend all day here but I won’t. I’ll just say that yes, negative reinforcement or a negative teaching/coaching style does get results (drive, dedication, awards). I’m convinced that positive reinforcement gets longer lasting, more effective, and ultimately more powerful results without the side effects of negative reinforcement (stress, inconsistency, anxiety).
Kids don’t learn as well when they feel unsafe. Teachers need to provide learning environments that are emotionally and physically safe for students. If you’ve been reading Dance Advantage for any length of time, you know I believe it.
Research backs up this view over and over. I recently discovered a post on Teaching Through The Arts that offers “a great piece of information to have at the ready when asked why emotional well-being in a classroom is so important“.
The article adds that emotional well-being is especially important when teachers “are working in an atmosphere where the expectations are simply on cramming information into students’ heads in order to pass high-stakes tests.” Are competitions a lot like high-stakes tests? Are teachers sometimes cramming information into young competitor’s bodies and minds to pass the test? Maybe not always but it hits close to home.
Before You Boycott
I am not a studio owner. But I know you are concerned about how this show is or may or will affect your business.
The LinkedIn discussion in particular mentioned boycott, direct outcry toward the show. But this post is an example of how well that works. Here we are talking about it… when I wasn’t planning to.
More than focusing on the show, I want to voice my encouragement of you dance school owners.
I want to do so by revealing that sometimes negativity is the best kind of opportunity.
There WILL be parents who will wrongly assume all competition programs are destructive or simply like the one on this TV program. Some of you have already experienced this first-hand.
The show can sway an already skeptical mind. But one show is not enough for such opinions to form.
Let’s face it, there are plenty of bad experiences, mom gossip, inappropriate choreography, unqualified teachers etc. out there to help form negative pictures in a parent’s mind of the dance studio or dance competition culture.

Parents who will point to Dance Moms as a reason for not enrolling their child in your program are pointing to it as evidence of what they already think they know.
The other parents? They may ask more questions. They may show more concern. And if so, so what?
I know as a studio owner you get a lot of questions already. And I know that sometimes these questions seem ridiculous, or petty, or downright weird.
But aren’t the questions this show raises about your school, your teaching philosophy, mission, code of conduct the RIGHT questions?
After all, you get to tell them what makes your studio great! What makes it different and not like Miss Abby Lee (or whoever) at all! That’s GOOD for your business.
If you know the answers to these kinds of questions, your only challenge is to live by them and perhaps articulate them so you’ll be able to address any or all parent concerns straightforwardly.
If you live by what I’m assuming are higher standards than the studios, or programs, or stuff that “makes us look bad” your good reputation WILL precede you. It won’t take much to convince or dash the doubts of potential customers because you’ll have fans in your students, parents, your studio family who are walking advertisements of your greatness.
So turn this negative show into a positive!
Use it as an opportunity to really decide…
WHO you are (and aren’t)
WHAT your studio is about, and
HOW you’ll present this to your customers and your community.
For ideas and support in answering these questions, read Leveraging Your Identity to Grow Your Dance Business, Dance Studio Ads and Marketing Mistakes, Recalculating Problems With Parents, and more from columnist, Suzanne Gerety of DanceStudioOwner.com.
It’s enrollment time. What are the parent concerns you’ve already fielded?
In what ways do you already present who and what you are to your customers and community?
Nichelle Suzanne is a writer specializing in dance and online content. She is also a dance instructor with over 20 years experience teaching in dance studios, community programs, and colleges. She began Dance Advantage in 2008, equipped with a passion for movement education and an intuitive sense that a blog could bring dancers together. As a Houston-based dance writer, Nichelle covers dance performance for Dance Source Houston, Arts+Culture Texas, and other publications. She is a leader in social media within the dance community and has presented on blogging for dance organizations, including Dance/USA. Nichelle provides web consulting and writing services for dancers, dance schools and studios, and those beyond the dance world. Read Nichelle’s posts.
This brief clip is the most I’ve seen of the show, although I’ve had lots of students ask me about it. I agree with you that negative reinforcement CAN have results (to this day I hear in my head “Don’t…! rather than “Good…!”) but those results are fraught with anxiety. Dancers seize up and literally stop when they hear negativity all the time. Plus it’s simply demoralizing. Frankly I don’t want a class filled with students who only want to hear what they’re doing wrong OR what they’re doing right. There should be a healthy balance which will create equally balanced psyches. And honestly, most students will NOT be pros so fostering a lifelong love of dance and health should be foremost in our minds as teachers (and parents!).
Nichelle, This is my first time visiting, and I’d like to say you have an awesome blog! It’s exciting to read material that’s injected with passion and related to the art of dance. I agree with what you said, “Teachers need to provide learning environments that are emotionally and physically safe for students.”
I have two boys, so that statement couldn’t have been articulated any better. Children need that saftey, however I also believe a gentle, and encouraging push doesn’t hurt once in awhile either. Thanks for the great post.
Nichelle,
Thanks so much for taking the time to read my post on ‘Dance Moms’ on my own blog on DanceStudioConnect.com. I was happy to see that you had written one yourself on Dance Advantage; you are a wonderful writer and I enjoyed very much reading your post on this show and how it can help dance studio owners in a positive way.
I am in absolute agreement in what you said about how when a dance studio owner is able to not only articulate why their studio is different than a negative image that Dance Moms portrayed, but is also able to live by their positive philosophies, it only serves them for the better in the long run. The best thing a dance studio owner can do is to simply teach their classes in a way that demonstrates their own values on dance and how it can serve to make you a better artist and person. I am not a dance studio owner myself, or even a dance teacher, but I have been taking dance classes most of my life. I have taken classes from teachers who have had nothing but negative things to say to me, I have taken classes from teachers who have ignored my presence in class almost entirely, and I have taken classes from teachers who not only address me as an individual, but has also addressed the entire class on how to improve not just dancing or technique, but how to channel your entire being into a dance in order to really develop as a dancer. I can honestly say, that I have been through periods of my life where I felt pushed away from dance because of the pressures, but I went back to dance and ultimately stayed with dance because of my passion and my love for it, and the teachers who really stressed what dancing was all about are the ones who have stuck out in my mind and are a major reason why I have continued to dance even in the tough periods of my life.
As a dancer, you learn to sort of figure out what makes sense and what doesn’t; the teachers who have inspired you stick out more than the ones that bring you down. I appreciate your article to studio owners that lets them know that there is hope and ultimately good, long-lasting results in having solid, positive teaching philosophies as well as productive communication with parents and dancers.
Thanks so much for your contribution!
Liz Breuder
Owner and Co-Founder of DanceStudioConnect.com
Hi Nichelle,
I’m glad you shared your thoughts and opened up the dialog about the show “Dance Moms”. When many of our members voiced their concern on the impact that this show could possibly have, in a negative way, I made a point to set my DVR and now watch the show each week.
Thanks for letting me share a few personal thoughts.
1. This show can actually help you get really clear on your studio’s mission and vision. Many dance studio owners struggle with trying to be all things to all people and often get frustrated. If a dance teacher or studio owner watches this and has the ‘we’re not that type of studio’ or ‘that’s not what we want for our students to see or model for competition’ you’ll begin to get really clear on what you are and what you stand for. While I don’t personally know Abby Lee (the studio owner at the focus of the show) it’s clear that she has a commitment to competition participation and helping dancers follow that path to being recognized in that arena. Whether or not the methods and style are age appropriate, safe, etc. is to be determined by those who participate I suppose. Use this type of show as a way for you to know what you stand for, what you want to create for your students, what people can count on from you.
2. I think that this show is a great opportunity for the competition directors to also connect with studio owners in a way that they also find the ‘right fit’ for their events. Many new studio owners ask me what competitions they can go to/participate in where their kids will have a real opportunity to perform and have a chance to better their best, rather than focus on winning a trophy or coming in first. I guess my hope is that this opens up some great dialog between competition directors and those making the investment into what events to attend (studio owners, teachers, competition team teachers, etc).
3. Fear/hesitation from parents to let their child participate in a dance team. Again, you have choices! If a parent of one of your dancers has had very limited or no exposure to the dance world beyond what they see on TV, now is your opportunity to provide some wider experiences. Just about every competition I know of – allows for an ‘observer’ daily rate. You can go as a teacher or studio owner (invite a parent or two!) and take some time to watch how that competition is run and organized, etc. This is a great way to do your own research and then confidently bring to your dance team and parents a schedule of events that are the right fit for you/your studio/the parents/the dancers.
If anything positive, this show is causing people to talk about what they want and the choices they have. What works for one studio, clearly doesn’t work for another. I like to think that it’s what makes the dance community such a creative, unique, and passionate group.
Best,
Suzanne Blake Gerety
http://www.DanceStudioOwner.com
I hate the show. it represents what is wrong with American women. she is a predator. I would not even think about taking my daughter to her. She has broken many girls to get her way. She does not care about anything but herself and I can’t believe lifetime wants to air this trash. I believe in being an example and if her 300lb is an example of what dangers become i do not think it is what this country needs and she has big problems. All I have to say is bring it on.
Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and opinions. No matter what you think of the show, of Abby Lee, of the moms, or of competition dance, I hope the message in this article is clear. And that is that any experience is a chance to learn and grow. So, if this show is causing waves of negativity in your business, use it… surf it, if you will, turn it into something positive. Battling negativity with more negativity or hateful actions/language is a losing battle, I think.
Dance Schools nationwide that have competitive dance programs are reporting new enrollments down by 37%, and 53% loss of parents canceling current contracts, and only 41% of those students re-enrolling in reputable dance schools with emphasis on dance without competition programs. (Source=Consumer Reports Magazine which is accurate because their reporting isn’t slanted by advertiser demands since they have refused advertising and their dollars since it’s creation and still does.) The numbers say that Dance Moms is BAD for business definitively.
Consumer Reports (source link?) directly correlates this downturn with the TV show Dance Moms? I’m not a fan of this show, however, it seems to me there are likely many factors to blame – economics perhaps, or the oodles of other activity options for girls and boys, and the trend of activity “sampling”.
But for the sake of argument, let’s say Dance Moms is the sole reason enrollment is down for dance schools nationwide… what does a dance studio owner do? They continue providing value to their customers in a way that can’t be denied. Or they get busy doing it.
I have been a competition mom for 8 years now, and this year has been by far the worst I’ve ever experienced. The competition is not just on stage with all different studios competing, but it is now within my daughter’s studio itself. My dancer made it into a prestigious performing arts high school as a dance major, starting in september. It will be long hours and hard work, but she still wants to go to her studio and be part of the competition team. The problem i have is that her reason forn wanting to stay at the studio is to be with her friends (whom are all older than her). She is not one of the “favorites” in the studio, and they are not teaching her a blessed thing. Every number is recycled from years past using the same combinations, but the routines are different choreography performed to different music. I am having a very difficult time with her when I voice my disappointment with her studio and with her reasons of why she wants to go back. Do I just make the decision as the parent and pull her?? And run the risk of her losing all interest in dance, now that she is about to start high school? Where she will REALLY learn? And where it really counts? I’m very frustrated with this whole thing. If i knew then what I know now, I would have said NO to competition, and found a non-competitive studio to enroll her.
Sorry if i went off track here, but I’m really that frustrated, and I need advice! TY..
You may find that this will resolve itself as soon as your daughter starts school. A new group of friends and a tight schedule may not leave much time and/or she may see that the comp studio isn’t providing what she needs to improve. And friends at her performing arts school may discourage her from the comp stuff, particularly if they don’t participate themselves.