Starting a new dance year brings many challenges.
Especially when you teach young students. One of the biggest challenges for me is children who need to separate from their grown-ups in drop off class. You too?
In New York City, children start nursery school at 2 years old (probably even younger sometimes), so most of the time they are already separated, but it’s still scary to enter a new class with new friends and a new teacher. Over the years I have tried many, many different strategies to make the process easier.
What I know for sure is that once they get in the room and see the class, they will adapt quickly and have a great time!
Here are some creative ideas that have been the most successful for me:
Sit, Watch, Smile
Invite them into class to be your helper. Tell them they can sit on the side and watch. Whenever they see something fun happening in class, they show me a smile! Each transition we make I invite them to join in the class. Usually they will!
Bring a Friend
Sometimes, just having something accompany them to class is all they need. A doll or a stuffed animal sometimes does the trick. The only issue with this idea is then everyone wants to bring something to class and suddenly a whole side of the room is taken up by furry little friends. Use your judgement, but it could just do the trick.
Brave Dust or Bracelets
Brave Bracelets are filled with love and give students the courage to enter class. The significance of the bracelet keeps them close to their grown-up while they are dancing
Buddy System
If they are upset, try pairing them with a buddy in class. I tell them that one is peanut butter, and one is jelly. They have to stick together. Keep in mind of who you are pairing them with. Try to give a leader the chance to be a good friend and help a classmate out.
Visuals
I have each section of my class on a time-line. I move the dancer as we progress through the class. That way they can visually see how much longer they have until they can see their grown-up again.
Be Positive and Firm
In my case, in the middle of the year students re-register for a new semester of class. One time, I had only one new child join a class of all returning students. Before class started, Mom tells me that her daughter never takes classes and hates separating. She signed her up for the class knowing that it was a separation class. The mom wanted to come and sit in the room. I let her in for the beginning but reminded her that it was a drop off class. Her child laid on the floor tripping other students who were trying to dance across the floor. I gave the student a choice, she had to get up off the floor or she had to leave class. The mom was upset that I gave that choice and she never came back.
My challenge here was that the other children in the class had already separated. I didn’t think it fair to them to have to backtrack. I am all about helping my students separate and feel more comfortable in class, but the student and the parent has to meet us halfway. Don’t you think? It might have been my mistake with this student, but from what I saw while her mom was in the room, she just wasn’t ready for my class.
I think sometimes children just aren’t ready to separate. Even if they go to school and separate with no problem, an extra class might be pushing them over the edge. I also think assuring the parent that the child can do it if they are on board with your ideas is key. Changes in schedule, a new baby in the house, or a family move can all set off separation anxiety in an otherwise well-adjusted student.
I hesitate to let the parents in the room for the first class because then the students will want it to happen every week. Have your rules and stick to them, but remember, every child is different. Use your best judgement when it comes to helping young dancers separate. After the first few weeks, separating is a distant memory!
A happy smile, a hug, and compassion goes a long way!
How do you help your students with separation anxiety? Do you have any creative ideas to add? I would love to hear them in the comments!
Maria Hanley Blakemore
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I used to teach figure skating and it was extra hard because the rink is an open place, and the parents would stand with thier noses to the glass watching, and the kids would hang on the wall looking up at the parents. I remember “shooing” all the parents away from the glass and up to the bleachers just so the students would face me and venture away from the boards to actually skate a few steps!
And I think you were right, that mom wanted to indulge the seperation drama with her child. She should have never come into the classroom.
Jennifer, Oh, the parents at the window/door is really distracting. I’m thinking that is a whole new post in itself. ha! It’s really hard to teach with the students always looking out at their grown-ups. They do much better when they aren’t visible.
Maria,
You have such an intuition when it comes to little ones. When advising other teachers of preschoolers your articles are often the ones I reference and this one will be no different. Thanks for the great information!
Jenn! How sweet of you to say. I’m so glad the information is helpful to you and the teachers you advise! Thanks so much for your comment!
I love your site!! I have taught dance for 25 seasons. As I enter year 26, and find I am more and more a “little one” specialist… I keep coming up with more ideas to ease separation anxiety and promote Instructor Sanity. My little ones learn quickly that, in their 45 minute class, they get a 20 minute -in “fun break”. This is a special time to bring out the weekly prop…hoola hoops, scarves, animal masks, beach balls, hats, instruments, etc. I do NOT bring these out until we reach our 20 minute mark so that it is something they look forward to.
Also, my under age 6 room is on camera/monitor. If someone is having issues leaving mom or dad, we do the TV commercial. The child stays in the waiting area and Mom or Dad go into the studio and play for the camera… they dance and jump and wave… then the child enters and mom or dad stands by the tv. With me (or the teacher) they do a commercial…why I want to dance….what I want to do…why this is fun…and we make BIG gestures and wave to the camera. This is HUGELY successful and all of the other parents see and appreciate the effort.
I must also note that I am a contender of the 3 strikes rule. One fit means we baby and assist. Two fits mean we take cautious steps. Three fits means they can go DOWN to our Just 2 class which is a caretaker and me environment, or they are dismissed. It is about The Group/Not The Individual and that is the way Real Life is….so better to learn at a young age. Too many young ones are coming up thinking the world revolves around Only Them.
That, in a nutshell, is my outlook! -R